Why You’re Losing Your Kids to Their Friends—and How to Get Them Back

Have you ever felt like your once chatty, affectionate child suddenly became more interested in their friends’ opinions than yours? If so, you’re not alone. Dr. Gordon Neufeld and Dr. Gabor Maté dive deep into this phenomenon in their book Hold On to Your Kids, and spoiler alert: it’s not just a phase—it’s a societal shift. But don’t worry, there’s a way to rebuild the bond, and surprisingly, entrepreneurship and creativity might just be part of the solution.

What’s Happening? The Peer Influence Takeover

According to Neufeld and Maté, today’s kids are more peer-oriented than ever. Instead of looking to parents for validation, advice, and emotional grounding, they’re turning to their friends. The result? Parents feel disconnected, discipline becomes a struggle, and kids start prioritizing peer approval over family values.

This isn’t just about social media or the latest TikTok trend. It’s a deeper shift in how kids form attachments. The authors argue that when kids detach from their parents emotionally, they become more vulnerable to outside influences.

So… How Do We Get Them Back?

One of the biggest takeaways from the book is that connection is the antidote. Rebuilding trust, fostering meaningful interactions, and providing kids with a sense of purpose beyond peer validation is crucial. And here’s where entrepreneurship and innovation-based learning come in.

How Entrepreneurship Can Strengthen Parent-Child Bonds

1. Shared Projects = More Connection Working together on a family business idea or a creative project builds natural opportunities for bonding. Whether it’s brainstorming a business plan, designing a product, or setting up an online store, these activities create structured, meaningful parent-child interaction.
2. Confidence Over Comparison When kids develop their own ideas and see them come to life, they gain confidence in their abilities. Instead of seeking approval from their peers, they start relying on their own creativity and skills. Entrepreneurship teaches them that their worth isn’t tied to fitting in—it’s tied to what they can create and contribute.
3. Resilience and Emotional Growth Every entrepreneur faces setbacks. Teaching kids to handle failure and try again builds resilience—the same resilience needed to stand up to peer pressure. When they learn that failure is just a step toward success, they become more independent thinkers rather than followers.
4. Family as Their First Network Entrepreneurship shifts their focus back to family. When parents and kids collaborate, children naturally see their family as a primary source of support, not just their friends. They start valuing those dinner table conversations more than fleeting social media trends.

The Takeaway

While Hold On to Your Kids highlights the dangers of peer orientation, it also reminds us that the parent-child bond isn’t lost—it just needs to be reinforced. Alternative education, entrepreneurship, and creative learning provide a powerful way to rebuild that connection.

So, if you’re feeling like you’re “losing” your kids, try engaging them in something bigger than peer dynamics. Encourage them to build something, solve a problem, and take ownership of their ideas. Not only will they gain confidence and independence, but they’ll also remember that their greatest supporters aren’t their friends—it’s their family.

Want to explore programs that help your kids develop these skills? Check out our offerings and let’s bring those young minds back to where they belong—right by your side, dreaming big and creating even bigger.